


Killing Me Softly

by Mystic_reader



Series: Deanna!Verse [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 1x01, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Episode: s01e01 Pilot, F/M, Gender or Sex Swap, Genderbending, pilot, season one, thoughts of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 08:36:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4600077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_reader/pseuds/Mystic_reader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things get a little heated on a bridge in Jericho.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Killing Me Softly

**Author's Note:**

> Characters aren’t mine. Written for fun, not for profit. Totally self-indulgent, my own personal Sam/girl!Dean canon.
> 
> Set during 1x01, (Pilot)
> 
> Some canon episodes never happened in my universe. For a full list of episodes and the order they appear in this universe, along with any other changes, you can go to [GirlDeanFic](http://girldeanfic.tumblr.com/masterpost) on Tumblr.

Dee plays it casual, like it’s no big deal seeing Sam again. But Sam’s not buying it for a second. Sam hasn’t seen his sister in 2 years, but with Dee suddenly in front of him, it’s like he never left.

It’s disconcerting, so when Jessica enters the room, Sam goes to her immediately. Grounds himself in her presence. Reminds himself that he waited. He called. He wrote. He begged. And he got nothing from Dee except the party line and blind devotion to their father. So he’s not really surprised when he finds out Dad’s disappearance is the reason Dee’s suddenly come out of the woodwork. He isn’t really surprised either at how quickly he agrees to go with her.

In a way, he was always afraid of this. That if Dee came around and then refused to stay, refused to leave that life behind her for good, that when it came time for her to leave again, it would be too hard to let her go.

But that’s not what’s happening now. This is just for the weekend. They can spend the weekend together, hunting down Dad and then Sam can come right back and get on with his life. His life with Jessica, and his friends, and law school. His life without his sister. It’s no problem. He’s sure of it.

~~~~

Sam knew this was coming. They were going to have to talk about it sooner or later. He’s actually surprised it didn’t happen sooner. And maybe a haunted bridge in the middle of the night isn’t the best place for this discussion, but eh...what are you going to do?

“Does Jessica know the truth? Does she know about the things you’ve done?” Dee asks, staring up at him.

Sam bristles at her tone. “No. And she doesn’t have to know.”

“Well, that’s healthy. You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you’re going to have to face up to who you really are.”

Dee turns to walk away.

“No...Hey!” Sam says, following her, darting out in front of her to see her face. “This doesn’t have to be my life. This doesn’t have to be _your_ life.”

Dee rolls her eyes. “We’ve been over this, Sam. I have an obligation…”

“To what?” Sam snaps, coming to a stop in front of her, blocking her way. “To Dad? To his crusade? You don’t owe Dad anything. Even if you do find the thing that killed Mom, it’s not going to bring her back.”

Sam knows his sister well enough. He knows just which buttons to push, just what to say to get a reaction out of her and he knows instantly, from the look on Dee’s face, that he pushed too far this time. But he doesn’t regret it. He wants a reaction. He needs her to fight back. If she doesn’t, if she just shuts down on him, he’ll never get through to her. But instead of fighting, instead of screaming at him, Dee merely shoves at him, trying to move him out of her way. But Sam’s too big now to be moved so easily and he simply holds his ground.

Dee’s so angry her whole body is vibrating, but she still doesn’t argue, doesn’t scream. And that’s when Sam remembers that his sister knows him too, just as well as he knows her. And she’s not going to give him what he wants.

When she tries to escape again, Sam grabs her arms and spins her around, pushes her up against the side of the bridge. He’s still looking to fight, for a good ol’ battle of wills. Instead, his sister stands motionless, hands at her sides, her whole body pratically vibrating with suppressed tension.

Dee won’t look at him, eyes downcast as her long lashes flutter closed. Her lips part as she breathes. Sam lets himself look. Lets himself take just a moment to enjoy being close to her again. He lets his head drop until his forehead is resting against hers.

Sam breathes in...out...in. Voice shaking, he says, “You’re killing me.”

Dee doesn’t move and Sam doesn’t kiss her. And later, when Constance Welch accuses him of cheating on Jessica, he denies it. He’s not surprised though when the spirit whispers in his ear, “You have in your heart.”


End file.
